A cura di Rosina Fracassini
With this issue of ValleLife Chianti & Valdelsa, we are launching a new column dedicated to toxic relationships and psychological violence, curated by Serena Fumaria, a recognized expert in personal growth and support for victims. This column will offer deep reflections and useful tools to understand and address this complex reality.
Serena Fumaria is a renowned mental coach, researcher, university lecturer, and expert in toxic relationships and psychological violence. Since 2016, Serena has been dedicated to raising awareness and informing the public about this form of abuse, which is as invisible as it is devastating. She developed an emergency support method for victims (the N.E.N.A. method) and has become one of the most well-known and respected figures in her field. Serena is also the president of the #ioscelgome association, focused on preventing violence and supporting victims.
– Serena, your name is associated with a deep understanding of toxic relationships and psychological violence. Can you tell us how your professional journey in this field began?
My profession comes from a mission: to prevent violence and support those living in a toxic relationship. I, too, was once a victim of physical and psychological abuse, at a time when these issues were rarely discussed and there was no real support for those suffering from mental violence. After years of suffering and enduring for a long time, I decided to study the topic in-depth with the goal of spreading awareness, preventing abuse and violence, and helping others get out of it. In 2016, I began offering free and anonymous support on social media, laying the groundwork for my current method. In 2018, I founded the cultural association #ioscelgome, focused on prevention through information, education, and free content. Since 2019, I have left all other professional activities to fully dedicate myself to my work as a coach, using my method.
– Psychological violence is a topic that is increasingly discussed, but often in an imprecise way. In your opinion, what are the main misunderstandings or myths surrounding this type of abuse?
One of the main misconceptions about psychological violence is that it is less severe than physical violence, when in fact it can leave deep and lasting scars. People often think it is easy to recognize, but it is actually insidious and difficult to identify, both for the victim and for those observing from the outside. Moreover, almost every time, psychological violence is the foundation upon which physical violence is built. Another myth is the belief that psychological abuse only occurs in romantic relationships, when it can also take place in families, workplaces, and among friends.
– You always say that psychological violence is transversal and “politically correct”: what does that mean?
Psychological violence makes no distinction of gender, status, or age. It happens 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It is a constant and uncomfortable reality for those who live through it.
– Your work revolves around the concept of personal rebirth. What does it mean for you to help people reborn after a psychological trauma, and how does your approach differ from other methods of victim support?
After every storm comes calm, and it is in that moment that we can truly look inside ourselves. After an experience of abuse or psychological violence, one of the hardest challenges is understanding the “why” and accepting oneself, despite the emotional wounds endured. My work provides immediate and profound support for those going through a personal crisis. Designed to help those who have experienced abuse, my method is effective and rapid: I have integrated thirty years of studies and fifteen years of research into a simple method that guides people toward self-compassion, kindness toward themselves, and full awareness of their own worth. Rebirth depends on our awareness, the way we react to events, and with N.E.N.A., my method, the goal is to regain our energy and a new attitude that allows us to live a happy life, find new love, and establish healthy and lasting relationships.
– Social narratives often associate the victim of psychological abuse with a fragile or vulnerable person. How can this perspective be changed to understand that anyone, even seemingly strong or successful people, can be involved?
To change this perspective, it is essential to make people understand that psychological abuse does not only affect fragile or vulnerable individuals. Even those who appear strong, self-confident, or successful can be victims. The point is that manipulation operates on deep, invisible aspects, and anyone can find themselves involved. It is necessary to raise awareness that it is not a matter of weakness, but of dynamics that can affect anyone, regardless of appearance.
– How does psychological abuse differ from physical violence, and why is it often more difficult to identify and report?
Psychological abuse differs from physical violence because it does not leave visible marks on the body, but it subtly affects the mind and self-esteem of the victim. It involves manipulation, control, devaluation, isolation, and causes the person to doubt themselves, often without immediately realizing it. This is why it is difficult to identify: it is an invisible form of violence that slowly seeps into daily life, making it complicated for the victim to recognize it and name it. Reporting it is equally challenging because there is no tangible evidence, and many struggle to understand the devastating impact it can have on emotional and psychological well-being.
– What long-term impact does psychological abuse have on the victim’s mental and physical health?
In the long term, psychological abuse can leave deep marks on both the mind and the body. Victims often develop anxiety, depression, loss of self-esteem, and difficulties in trusting others, while physical problems such as insomnia, chronic fatigue, and psychosomatic disorders may emerge. This type of abuse gradually consumes energy and the joy of living, but with the right support, it is possible to regain strength and serenity.
– What advice would you give to someone who has just discovered they have been a victim of psychological abuse and doesn’t know how to begin rebuilding their self-esteem?
The advice I would give to someone who has just discovered they have been a victim of psychological abuse is to start by taking care of themselves, recognizing their own worth, even if it feels difficult at first. It’s important to seek support from those who understand the dynamics of abuse, such as a professional or people who care for us. One must let go of any form of judgment, even toward oneself, and remember that this difficult moment will pass, making space for new inner strength and the process of rebuilding oneself.
Info: www.serenafumaria.com / E-mail: serena@serenafumaria.com
Do you have a question for Serena Fumaria or a topic you would like her to cover? Contact our editorial team! Your voice is important, and together we can accomplish a lot.
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